Sunday, May 18, 2008

It's Not A Real Fight Until Lawsuits Are Threatened

Some of you have heard this story at least ten times but does it get old?

I found out from my apartment managers that my roommate had been in the office telling them that my dog was coming to live with me. This was an attempt to get me evicted from the apartment. So later when he walked in I said "name" I talked to "apt. Mang" and he gave a frightened yeah... I then said my dog is coming for a day, you will not even be here most likely. Do you Understand? He said yes. Then turning to my friend he said "friend" do you want to move in here? She does not handle conflict well so I said no she doesn't. He stormed out of the apartment a few minutes later.
Earlier in the day I also had heard he was trying to sublease. I had a good laugh because his thought process of finding someone to sublease was pretty redonk. So of course he came back five minutes after leaving because when you have no friends and no place to go how do you waste time? So he slammed his way in to his room and I am sure the bathroom a few times. During his entrance "friend" was telling me a story. Roommate was hanging out in the kitchen not really doing anything just standing. So when she finished her story he turned and walked towards the living room and said:
So if I find someone to sublease will you sign off on it.
I chuckled and said yes if I like them of course I will.
At this point I was like... were you raised with not one social skill? So I replied When asking someone to do you a favor it is best not to insult them.
He scuffed and replied it'd be easier for you.
Easier for me?! What would be easier? Living with someone I did not know? Living with someone new i hated?
It will just be easier. You'll have to go to court if you do not.
I have to go to court? To do what testify against you? Tell them that you live in a great community with great managers?
At this point my friend said No he's suing you I think. Oh did this get me going. Through laughter I said you're going to to SUE me?
He replied I don't want to live with crazy bitches anymore.
I then relied I am crazy you are the one who has a fucking fan fetish. You are mentally ill man. I was laughing to hard at this point and then made sure to loudly call every one I could and mock his lawsuit threats.
A few day later when he walked in to the apartment I asked him how his roommate search was going. In a threatening way he said OH I am not moving anymore. I began to laugh and said there's a SHOCKER.

A side note to why I was called a crazy bitch. After months of dealing with his fan fetish and trying every way possible to handle the situation I was very stressed out and could not sleep because once again he had gotten out of bed just to turn the fan on. Well anytime I have to get out of bed for something it's not going to be pretty and so I picked up one of my very heavy shoes and with a gorgeous pitch I sent the shoe in to his door dead on. I then shut the fan off and as I was grabbing my shoe I made it clear to him my hatred. It went something like I really fucking hate you and I wish you'd fucking die. I am so fucking sick of you. Haha maybe this makes me a crazed bitch but I'd say more stressed out and annoyed.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

after reading that i would say you guys can have a reality show