Thursday, June 19, 2008

When The Going Gets Weird You Know My Roommate Is Involved.

So I returned to my apartment after a nice week long vacation. As I entered the door I noticed that the roomie had taken the large box pictured throughout the blog and turned it up right. It was laying flat with various objects on it. Most of his crap that was sitting on the box was thrown all over the apartment. As I studied the large mess I realized the 5 empty bottles of wood varnish were gone and a few of the LARGE water jugs. My brain hurt. I could not figure out what he had done.

Later I was looking around hoping to find a clue that he had moved out. No such luck. However I looked in the closet and I was like wtf are these boxes? There were three random boxes with different size and colored tiles. Yes floor tiles. Had he stolen these from work?? What was he doing with them and more importantly WHAT WERE THEY DOING IN MY APARTMENT?! As I further researched the tiles I found small chunks of fake hardwood floor in on of the tile boxes. My brain was aching.

So it's been four days and he has not appeared. I know he'll be back and when I am not sure. I was thinking to myself should I tell my blog readers that I though there would be no more post. Tonight however I went to bake a cake I got in the closet where some of my dishes have been hanging out and being protected. I was searching for a small pan and I realized he stole one of my cake pans.... Why? I wish I knew so I made due with what I had a small cake and twenty four tinyyyy cupcakes. I went to grab a toothpick to check if the cake was done. As I looked at his cupboard because yes my toothpicks were in his holder. I realized he took his toothpick holder. Nothing else just the toothpick holder. I began to laugh and I moved on.

I decided I wanted a piece of toast with some of my peanut butter. I grabbed my peanut butter and opened it and half of my peanut butter was missing. I was very confused because he had a large container of his own peanut butter. I looked over at his cupboard and realized he had also taken his peanut butter. So he used my peanut butter and then realized that he had also used my toaster and left it plugged in. Grrr one of my biggest pet peeves. So I grabbed my butter and as I looked in to the container I realized he used and then took a knife and stabbed the butter. HE STABBED THE BUTTER. For the record he has his own butter and I looked in his fridge there is a good chance he probably also took that.

Every action this kid does truly makes my brain hurt. I hope you are laughing as hard as I did. Hopefully you're not as confused as me. WTF!! :) I love comments so don't be afraid to throw some up!

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

make a reality show outta this

Anonymous said...

ok roomate issue i think everyone has them at least u don't live in the barrack... i think its time to invest in sticky lables

Anonymous said...

crazy ... time to invest in a lable machine

Anonymous said...

you need to make sure that everything is marked with your name. if you catch him with your stuff make him cough up some money for it. if he wants to take your stuff and eat your food, then get something back from him

Mr. Joe said...

Stab that Butter. That sounds like it would be a good hip hop song. Great title btw.

Mr. Chu

Anonymous said...

After reading a few of the blogs...you getting paid to live with this guy...would have been out cold a long time ago

Anonymous said...

WOW

Anonymous said...

thats terrible.. sounds like he does it to annoy you. Wait till you come home and find the poopy underwear and god knows what left out

Girl with Roomie Issues said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

well hopefully you dont DELETE my comment gosh.

people need to understand this weirdness is waaaay beyond sticky labeling.

You know when butter stabbing is involved it is no longer about just eating the food anymore, its about destroying it.

Girl with Roomie Issues said...

Haha yeah you are right. I think for a lot of commeters this was the first post they read. So they don't understand the magnitude of the butter stabbing. :)

sadistic said...

you need to get out. sounds like you go thru alot of shit omg just thinking about it makes me wanna do something.

-mario